I have been a bridesmaid enough times to know that it's a much tougher job than you initially think it will be. At first, you have all these warm feelings about supporting your friend, becoming the best sister-in-law of all time, and getting to dress up. Over time, it begins to get taxing. Then there comes the breaking point.
That's where Say Yes to the Dress: Bridesmaids gets interesting. During the show, the bride and bridesmaids and entourage pick the bridesmaids' dresses. More often than not, the Maid of Honor throws an ego-driven fit grown out of jealousy (or grief that she's losing her best friend) and has to be reminded that weddings are about the Bride, not the whiny Maid of Honor.
I hate conflict of all kinds, especially when Made For TV conflict gets a little too real. I mean, TV drums up a lot of viewership when "regular" folks duke it out on TV. I just heard on the radio that Jersey Shore was cancelled and that Honey Boo Boo beat out the Republican National Convention for viewership last night. Not that J-Woww, Pauly-D, and the Situation are normal by any stretch, or that Honey Boo Boo and her family are either. As a former Jersey Shore watcher, I have to confess I quit my GTL addiction because they treated each other so horribly. I'm relieved that the show won't be seen again until the "Where are they Now" flashback episode on VH1 in 10 years.
These shows all make their ratings from ego flare ups that in turn flare up the egos of others on the show. Maids of Honor get offended that the Bride won't support their choice, so they get dramatic with things. The Situation gets his feelings hurt because someone took his girl, so he gets dramatic. And therein lies the show. Ego versus ego. Stay tuned: Whose ego will reign supreme this time?
This is the first Friday at my new job. It's been very interesting to see how folks operate here. I've been careful to try to respect everyone's egos. I am fascinated by the way everyone is telling me their stories - what they marginalize, what they emphasize, how they frame things. The best part, though, is how they talk about each other.
There is genuine respect among folks on my team. They have worked together for years and years. They have functioned for a year and a half without a team leader. I have been careful this week to try to keep the Egosystem in balance - you know, how the egos function when they flare up next to someone else's. Reality TV thrives on this, happy office relationships don't.
Naturally, anyone new brings imbalance to the Egosystem no matter how large the organization. The trick is to map this out and navigate the Egosystem with care and respect. In turn, if your own ego gets a little trigger-happy, stop and recognize that it's not about you, and you are not the Bride here. Plus, your office is not a TLC show, nor is it Big Brother. You don't get to vote out the sour-est ego of the week.
So today, I celebrate my first week in a happy new Egosystem. I hope I can still say that down the road!
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