I will help you Isaiah 41:10

I'm an insufferable to-do list maker. I've got entire notebooks full of to-do lists that are crossed off. Mostly. I have tried 4-5 different to-do list and productivity apps that are no longer loaded on my phone because they did not meet my exacting to-do list standards. I have multiple formats of weekly goal-setting forms and sheets on my work computer depending on the mood I'm in that week.

To-Do lists are important for getting it done, but sometimes I get overwhelmed by them. I want to get lost in the marking off of my tasks. I can get pretty worked up if I don't get it all crossed off by the end of the day.

My mom would say at this point, "You always need a starter list for tomorrow." You see, she's got decades of experience on me with this to-do list thing. She knows a thing or two about it.

When my list gets a little too long, or I am not quite sure how the to-do's are going to get to-done in the time I have, I can also get pretty worked up.

I'm guilty of anxiously looking around instead of relying on God for the second half of this verse:

"I will strengthen you, I will help you"

I anxiously look at my list and wonder how I will get it done. How I will look if it doesn't happen. How people relying on me will fail in their work because I was late.

I need to look at God. He's a steady source of love, assurance and  help.

Motivation, Montessori, management and GenX

I respectfully disagree. This is great for the greatest generation (Drucker was in this generation or older). It kinda lets folks off the hook for their own tasks. If the manager is responsible then the worker should reap no benefit of the work, only the manager. 

As a Montessori teacher for 9 years, I still believe that people should be intrinsically motivated by the tasks they are doing. Therefore, their work is their responsibility as is how they feel about it. 

As a GenX manager of baby boomers, one greatest generation and a millennial, with a GenX boss, I go into work assuming everyone is self motivated about their work. Their production is not my responsibility. It's theirs. I think them function and overall production is a shared responsibility between me and them. I have my own production that I am responsible for. 

I struggle with production in my greatest generation employee. Maybe I should take this approach rather than keep being frustrated. After all, we are only ever a product of our times. 

A joyless life is a disconnected life

"Joy is the emotional expression of the courageous yes to one's own true being." Tillich

I'm so glad I realized that I was not getting what I wanted from relationships. I'm so glad I went to therapy and connected with myself. It also connected me to God in ways I had been afraid of, I think. It meant self-acceptance, which I've never been terribly good at- which was part of the problem. If I wasn't great at something out of the box, I wasn't going to continue. This is why I still don't play tennis or golf. 

I had to accept that I would never be good enough to accept myself as good enough. And Jesus as my "good enough". I had to look at myself and really see the rough edges, not just cover them with effort upon effort or with avoidance. Freedom. Unclenching freedom. Breath. Rest. 

I cannot say there was joy in my life before that moment of acceptance. I can now, and my life is much more messy now, both figuratively and literally. I found joy when I quit trying so hard. I found myself. 

I found connection to my work, which multiplied that joy. 

Most of all, I found connection to God as my creator. And to who I am created to be.